Alicia's Story

I wasn't sure how much I wanted to read Alicia Parlette's account of her battle with cancer in the San Francisco Chronicle. Cancer touches everyone's life at some point, it seems, and when my Mom - currently courageously taking on a brain tumor - linked the story to me, I didn't think I was ready for the real down-and-dirty of this terrible disease. Then I started reading. Alicia's account is honest, candid, witty, and eye-opening, and worth the time it takes to read it (It's in seven parts, and is apparently available as a paperback book on the SFGate site as well.) Enjoy.

Amazing things happen at all levels of sport

Stan Grossfeld may not be the Globe's best writer (my argument: Jackie Mac is the cream of the crop, although Bob Ryan might be better on his best day. He just doesn't have a lot of "best days" anymore.)
However, Grossfeld ALWAYS finds interesting stories. This one is about Alec Siefert, a Duxbury HS Hockey and Lacrosse player who beat the odds medical professionals gave him. Grossfeld writes the story ably, and if you don't find yourself inspired to do something you didn't think you could do after reading it, then try reading it again, and think of what it must have been like to be a kid on the edge of the real world, being told he might never walk again, let alone play his favorite sports.

Teaser review of "Cinderella Man"

So, I'm not quite ready to write my "Cinderella Man" review yet, and I think it's usually a good idea to take a day or two before I review anyway. So I'll just say that I liked this movie so much that I'm frustrated it doesn't have a chance at an Oscar, since the Academy certainly won't go for two boxing movies in consecutive years.

I will say this.
Bill Simmons and I have gone our seperate ways idealistically and culturally. I used to only read Simmons' pop-culture stuff, since I didn't give a rat's patoot about the NBA. Now, I can't deal with his non-sports thoughts. His review of "Cinderella Man" explains why. He totally missed the point, as he has on other movies, and if he can't make it relate to his beloved crap-ass 80's sitcoms and half-baked cinema comedies, it's no good. On Ron Howard's Movies: "He has been involved in a whopping seven movies that were cool ideas but left me feeling they should have been better – 'Backdraft,' 'Parenthood,' 'The Paper,' 'Apollo 13' (I thought this was long and pretentious), 'Ransom,' 'The Missing,' and 'EdTV' (a really funny idea that should have worked). But since he has a résumé of 80's comedies ("Night Shift," "Cocoon," "Splash" and "Gung Ho"), as well as an Oscar-winning masterpiece ("A Beautiful Mind")." Seriously, he just whittled Ron Howard's career down to this: The tremendous Backdraft, Apollo 13, and even Ransom sucked, but the likeable-but-severely-dated Michael Keaton Comedies were Howard's HIGH POINTS (oh, and he directed that Oscar Winner too). If he can't make a Karate Kid link, or nobody in the movie does something that rates high on his beloved "Unintentional Comedy Meter," it's not worth his time. One of Simmons' biggest complaints? That the cutting in the unbelievably visceral and brutal boxing scenes was too fast. Get over it, Bill, you're not supposed to be watching a boxing match, you're supposed to feel the frantic pace of a fight. That was Howard's decision. Cripes.

Things I appreciate

In the spirit of absolutely nothing whatsoever, I've decided to write this links-heavy entry with a theme: Things I appreciate, and things I don't appreciate.

I really do appreciate Paul Lukas' Uni Watch Column on ESPN, because I'm a bit of a dork about uniforms and stuff. I get all fired up when I hear someone talking about the "new-look Blue Jays" or whatever, and then terribly disappointed when I find out it's just a different roster. However, I don't appreciate an entire column on stirrups. Seriously, this guy needs some hobbies that don't involve hosiery.

I appreciate very much that W. Mark Felt has been identified as Deep Throat, and I appreciate Bob Woodward's account of how the former FBI Assistant Director and the legendary journalist became friends. I don't appreciate the Washington Post sending me a "News Alert" email (like the ones they sent on 9/11, when someone important dies, or when Felt was first identified) to point me to the column. Especially after Executive Editor Len Downie used a paragraph in his column (for which I cannot find a link) yesterday to advertise the piece. Look, Post, it sucks that you had to get scooped on this whole thing, but to turn it into nothing more than a banner to wave for your paper is ridiculous. People will want to read the Post this week because it's a good paper and because it's closest to the story, you don't have to send out a breaking news email every time a Post staffer writes the words "Deep Throat" or "Mark Felt" in an article.

I appreciate very much my Mach3 Razor, and although it scares me, I would probably appreciate the Mach3Power one too. Further, I appreciate the patience of a judge who is willing to sit through this madness and come up with a coherent decision, even if it rules against Gillette. Hey, Schick, give it up, you guys lost. Now stop trying to put more blades in your razors, before they start looking like props out of a low-budg horror movie!!

I also really, really, REAAAALLY appreciate my Scrubs Season 1 DVD. I've been howling with laughter for the last 48 hours, and haven't really watched any TV - in any free time I get, I'm watching one, two, or 10 straight episodes.
I DON'T appreciate that NBC is going to try it's damnedest to kill the show by moving it to Sundays next season.
I also don't appreciate the fact that "Ed," which is getting my attention every day at noon on TBS, has not come out on DVD yet. The SECOND AND THIRD SEASONS of that god-awful Nick and Jessica Simpson show are available on DVD, but not one of the smartest shows to fall victim to bad ratings in the last 5 years. What is the world coming to?

On a totally unrelated note, Bruce, who clearly taxed all of his cognitive ability in doing so, came up with six more names to add to the list of great young actresses that I came up with after my Natalie Portman heralding was challenged. I'm going to hold off on inserting these names, and instead, I'm giong to use this as a test balloon to see who else is reading. So, either comment on this site, or email me at andrew dot merritt at gmail dot com. For the record, I had considered a few of these names, but left them off for reasons I'll explain later.

Thora Birch (82)
Jena Malone (84)
Kate Bosworth (83)
Bryce Dallas Howard (81)
Ziyi Zhang/Zhang Ziyi (79)
Kirsten Dunst (82)


1st ADD -- Jim's favorite baseball player has a column on ESPN.com, and I wasn't necessarily going to link it - athletes tend to write on a 4th-grade level when they're given these "daily diary" things, usually all-positive, and really simplified - but Street's lead definitely hooked me:
"Every kid who has dreamed of being a baseball player has stood in his front yard with a bat and said to himself, 'Bottom of the ninth, Game 7 of the World Series, the bases are loaded,' and then envisioned hitting a home run to win the game. My job is to shatter that dream."
(I'll admit, I'm a bit of a Street fan too. First player from the 2004 draft to play in the majors, and just snatched the A's closer job from the dreadful Octavio Dotel.)

I say we just make every movie 3-D

Dallas Mavericks owner Mark Cuban has a blog, and in the entry I've linked here, he devises a few strategies for movie theaters to staunch the slow bleed of their recent decline and start making a better profit again. Cuban has some interesting thoughts, although I don't think the DVD sales idea will ever work, for any number of reasons.

I'm not sure if Jackpot Jay just made me want to try the WSOP, or run screaming in the other direction. This guy's a lot of fun.

I probably ought to have more to say, but I'm trying to bang out a big ol' feature about one of the local lacrosse teams. Soon, though, soon.

Good to see our elected officials are focusing their efforts in the right place...

Here is a State Assemblyman who just doesn't get it. First of all, nobody goes to Continental Airlines Arena because they really, really love Satan. Well, unless it's Miroslav Satan (ba-dum). Secondly, it's the NHL!! Just don't bother! You want to get rid of something you dislike about the league, just leave them alone! No attention! Bettman, Goodenow, and all the millionaires on both sides are doing a FINE job of ensuring that your sensitive and virginal constituency won't be exposed to the evils of New Jersey hockey (by the way, let's focus on the Trap before we start worrying about the mascot, eh?)

Now, if you know me, you'd probably expect me to be angry about this, but I think it's one of the best things that could possibly happen right now. Nobody within the league or the NHLPA is taking this seriously. They haven't for more than a year now. Even more, nobody outside the league is taking it seriously, because there has been zero reason to believe that there will be a resolution. So let ESPN dump the TV option. Let the vendors and advertisers stop trying to get new contracts. Let the league die. It's time for real change, not the half-assed band-aid jobs we've been doing for more than 10 years now. Hockey will survive. How do I know? This is how I know. The best hockey player to exist since some kid named Gretzky picked up a stick couldn't win the Memorial Cup. It's a good thing, because hockey is not an individual sport. Never will be. That's probably why it never has worked in America the way the other major sports have. Same with soccer. So go Knights, keep working at it Sidney, and let's see if we can't have a real, good league in a few years.

Antonio Esfandiari is an idiot.

You can deride me for the comments I made below. You can even say that my ranking of young actresses is wrong, silly, or backwards. However, it is NOT the dumbest thing you have seen on the internet.

How do I know?

Because Antonio Esfandari is an idiot.

Now, the fact that the man's home page is "magicantonio.com" should be enough of a tip-off, but this page truly ranks among the highlights of narcissistic foolishness on the internet. You may suggest that creating a page which simply exists to broadcast a movie line ("you're the man now, dog", or Vader's No from Revenge of the Sith) is a waste of bandwidth, but at least there's an honest amount of amusement to be gained from its creation. However, Esfandiari and his pals have gone above and beyond the ridiculous. Enjoy.

(As an aside: Would someone please tell all the pro poker players who are becoming famous now that posing with chips or cards does NOT make them look cool? I don't know what it is, but for some reason, holding a pair of aces or flipping chips from one hand to another just looks dorky.)

Movie stuff:
Roger Ebert wrote an interesting review of "The Longest Yard," which I think pretty accurately describes how I feel about movies. For instance, I liked "Armageddon," because it quite aptly did its job, which wasn't to enrich my thoughts on science, or inspire me to seek out the philosophical nature of the Father-Daughter relationship. Instead, it was loud, angry, exciting, and over-the-top. So when someone says "Armageddon sucked," I sometimes feel like they missed the point.

That said, I just linked to something that I am absolutely sure has been seen by 2/3 of my confirmed readership, so what do I know?

1st ADD - I think I just became a Dartmouth Lacrosse fan.

Watch out, AFI

Let's get one thing straight: there was a reason that I wrote "(ducking)" after my proclamation that Natalie Portman is the finest actress of her generation. I wholeheartedly expected some disagreement there. And so, after spending far too many work hours preparing it, I've compiled a list of actresses who could be considered good, all of whom fall in what some might call Portman's "generation." Now, that's not easy, because the definition of "generation" isn't exactly finite. It isn't like one generation ends on one date and the next generation begins the day after. It's in flux. But, I think that for the purposes of this list, the years 1974-1987 work out fine. I thought about starting at 1975, but to do so would exclude two very talented actresses. So, here's the objective version of my list (year of birth in parentheses):
Hilary Swank (74)
Scarlett Johansson (84)
Natalie Portman (81)
Maggie Gyllenhaal (77)
Chloe Sevigny (74)
Sarah Polley (79)
Milla Jovovich (75)
Zooey Deschanel (80)
Rosario Dawson (79)
Michelle Rodriguez (78)
Shannyn Sossamon (79)
Reese Witherspoon (76)
Jessica Alba (81)
Evan Rachel Wood (87)
Keira Knightley (85)
Emmy Rossum (86)
Mena Suvari (79)
Katie Holmes (78)

If I'm voting with my heart, I still put Portman atop the list, in a horse race with Johansson and The Next Karate Kid. But I'll cede to the ribbing I've been taking over the last 48 hours and allow young Natalie to fall to No. 3. Still, watch out, because Free Zone could be decent, and V is for Vendetta could be fantastic. (The latter is the film for which NP shaved her head.)

Review: Star Wars Episode III - Revenge of the Sith

Because I'm a big cheater, I went and read a dozen or so reviews of ROTS before I wrote mine, and I'm going to steal a term from several of those reviews by calling the entire Star Wars saga a "flawed masterpiece." Two weeks ago, I may have omitted the second of those two words, like many people. However, just as crowds in 77, 80, and 83 drank the Star Wars Kool-Aid, I am, in 2005, sucking down the Star Wars Jello, with my black Nikes on and my purple blanket keeping me warm. (As an aside, if you don't get that reference, don't tell me. I don't want to feel that old.)

There was a promise made by George Lucas with Eps. IV-VI, that Star Wars would be one of the greatest stories ever told on film. That promise seemed lost when Lucas utilized the Gods of ILM to create a carnival atmosphere with The Phantom Menace, and even moreso when George's mediocre writing talents were exposed by a plot- and character-driven story in Attack of the Clones. It's been a week, and this formerly mild Star Wars geek has been transformed into a book-buyin', DVD Extra-watchin', lingo-spewin' superdork. The promise has been kept all along, but it took the oddly conclusive elements of ROTS to show us.

Let's be clear about one thing with "Sith." It is incredibly dark. That was expected, since we knew all along that this was the movie in which Anakin Skywalker would turn into Darth Vader, and nearly the entire roster of Jedi would be wiped out. (A note on spoilers: It's been a full week, and if you care enough not to know details of the movie going in, you should have seen it by now. Expect a spoiler here and there in this review.) However, the film manages to exceed all of those expectations, and rival "The Empire Strikes Back" in its cold, brutal reality. Put it this way: Jar Jar Binks has zero lines in this movie, and the most lighthearted scene of the entire 140 minutes is the opening sequence: a classically fun romp through space with two starfighters piloted by Obi-Wan Kenobi and Skywalker. This scene, thankfully, fits right in with all of the opening scenes of the Star Wars films. It's fast, it's expansive, it's charged with jaunty music, and it tells its own seperate story, a wonderful warmup to the rest of the film.

And the movie needs that warm-up, because it's absolutely full of action. We get full-scale war, space dogfighting, and some of the most amazing swordsmanship you'll ever see. Many reviewers have balked at the lightsaber battles of "Sith," mainly because there isn't anything innovative about them. To some extent, that's true. Yoda has already made his swashbuckling debut, we've seen the immortal Darth Maul's two-bladed saber, and in a subtle but important improvement, Lucas has relented and allowed his actors to swing their swords with one hand, (take a look at IV-VI; all two-handed maneuvers). However, the sabering is explosive in "Sith." Yoda battles with Darth Sidious through the dark Lord's chamber, and into the Galactic Senate, where the Senatorial pods become ammunition. In addition, or alongside the Yoda/Sidious battle, is the climactic duel between Obi-Wan and Anakin, which traverses a great distance and ends on the banks of a lava river.

Action is only the engine of the movie, though, unlike Eps. II, IV, and V. The mainline drama is the transformation of Anakin into the evil lord he was born to be. The whole of the movie is about his final bit of seduction with the dark side of The Force. Where Ep. I hardly touched upon this, and Ep. II only flirted with it, we're essentially force-fed Anakin as an evil person from the beginning. However, unlike his master, he is two-dimensional. He wears black for most of the movie, he says things that lead us to believe he is dissatisfied with the life of a Jedi, and he finds out that his wife is pregnant, a violation ofthe Jedi Order. However, he also acts mostly as a naive, well-meaning victim of an impossible situation.

It brings up one of many interesting questions in the movie, which Jim has already talked about on his blog. How far would you go for the one you love, even if those lengths meant turning into the thing you have been taught to hate? Despite his utter lack of ability writing-wise, Lucas has one of film's greatest minds for storytelling. Anakin ultimately turns into Darth Vader simply because he wants to save Padme's life, and it's pretty hard to blame him. Even through Hayden Christensen's improved but still-wooden acting, we can empathize with the young, cocky, confused man. Becoming a Jedi was a dream for him as a boy, but because of events beyond his control, he also fell in love - something Jedi can't do, essentially for the reasons that play out in this movie.

That is one of the reasons that "Sith" is so redemptively good. Until now, Anakin was just the headstrong boy in Ep. I, and the bratty teenager who wants a bigger allowance in Ep. II. Here, he has depth, emotion, and a full-on epic Greek tragedy to deal with. Until the last 15 minutes of the movie, we are still willing to believe that he is turning to the dark side only for the token of good that it would give him: an ability to create life, and thereby save the life of his bride, who he has dreamed will die in childbirth (and let's remember, his dreams presaged his mother's death in Ep. II. In the final act of the film, though, we see the severing of all ties to anything good that Anakin had left in him. The initial cut comes when he turns on Padme, and the cruel irony of her death is what ultimately cements his turn to the dark side. After the aforementioned battle with Obi-Wan, which leaves him limbless and irrevocably scarred, there is nowhere for Anakin to go but into the menacingly loving arms of his new master, in a scene that concludes with Padme's death on the birthing table and the first, eerie, timeless sound of Anakin breathing through the respirator of his shiny new Vader suit. It is here that all hope seems lost, that despair has gripped us, that the darkness of "Sith" reaches its peak.

There is, of course, a reason that Ep. IV is titled "A New Hope," and in a smart move by Lucas, that hope begins with the final scene of the movie, where we learn the final connection to the initial three installments of the saga. Although there's no reason to consider it a happy ending, the reinforcement of what good is to come is a perfect way to finish off the movie, and presumably the entire series (there are rumors, in which I believe at least partially, that Episodes VII-IX, which have always been talked about, will happen. Lucas has said no, but it wouldn't be the first time a filmmaker has gone back on his word about such a thing.)

As a whole, the movie is probably only "pretty good," but because it finally links us with the magic of the past, it takes on greater value and meaning. We now know why Vader has his allegiance to the Emperor, how a former Jedi like Anakin can turn so violently opposed to all the virtues of the Jedi religion. While audiences then and now needed no extra reason to be overjoyed when the Death Star was destroyed (both times), and no extra reason to root for Luke, Han, and Leia, we now have those reasons anyway, and they absolutely reinforce the strength of the overall work.

There are flaws, as I alluded to above. Most of them come with Lucas's inability to match his writing with his imagination and storytelling talent. This is most obvious in the scenes between Anakin and Padme. There are two in specific: the scene out on the balcony when Padme is brushing her hair, and the scene on Mustafar when Anakin loses his bloody mind. In both of these, there are lines so utterly elementary and lifeless that you're either angry for the distraction, or hopelessly laughing at their camp.

Anakin: "You are so beautiful."
Padme: "That's because I am so in love."
A: "No, it is because I am so in love with you!"

Seriously, that really happens. It's really a shame, because I think Christensen has gotten a bad rap -- see his performance in Life as a House. He's not going to be accused of being great anytime soon, but he's not as bad as he comes off in these movies. It's one of those things where an only-OK talent gets pretty awful material, and nothing good can come of it. To wit - Portman, who I consider the finest actress of her generation (ducking), struggles through this one, though less so than Ep. II. She still manages to deliver one of the most honest and inspiring performances, highlighted by her simple declaration in the Senate as Palpatine creates the Empire: "So this is how liberty dies. With thunderous applause." It's brutal how well she offers this line.

Beyond Portman, though, is Ian McDiarmid as Chancellor/Emperor Palpatine/Darth Sidious. Many reviewers have raved about McDiarmid, and rightfully so. He's just amazingly evil in this, and even as his character briefly turns into a cartoon after Mace Windu unsuccessfully tries to apprehend/kill him, he pulls off scary and deceptive with the best of 'em. And the utter deliciousness with which he delivers his lines is what vaults him - and his character - into the stratosphere of memorable roles. I'd be willing to bet that "The dark side of the Force is a pathway to many abilities some consider to be ... unnatural," will take up residence alongside "Luke, I am your father," and "That's no moon, it's a space station," et al in the pantheon of memorable Star Wars lines.

In all, "Sith" provides the answers to the questions we've had since 1977, while simultaenously asking enough new ones to make Eps. IV-VI newly intriguing. It looked for a very long time like Lucas might have fumbled the legacy of his crowning achievement, getting lost in the morass of digitially-created tomfoolery and overwrought plot development. However, with a deft, Jedi-like stroke of his imagination and ability, he has rescued this franchise, and vaulted it back into the lofty place it deserves.

Star Wars Episode III - Revenge of the Sith
Rated: PG-13 (scenes of violence, inferred murder of children, and graphic mutilation)
Running time: 140 mins.
Grade: A-

Just throwin' a little gas in 'er.

Hey folks, thought I'd pop in to explain a few things, and link a few others. First, you'll notice that the right side of the page has changed a bit. In other words, I've actually gone and deleted the Google News link, as well as the two useless links (sorry BlogSpot), and put a few permanent favorites in there instead. Besides, if you CAME here from Swine Lair, then you've seen how I have been guilted into doing something with my blog now that graduation is over and blah, blah, blah.

Jim's Swine Lair is about all sorts of things, and most of those things are things that I'm interested in (movies, TV, sports, poker, etc.), oh, and, "things," just to write it one more time.

Matty V's Good Reads is a splendid page full of good sportswriting from all over the country, as well as the occasional non-sports thing. I don't read enough good writing, so when I really start feeling guilty about that, I check Good Reads. Hah, put THAT at the top of your page, Matt!

One more, Rob's Captain Oblivious is a little different from the other two. It's half computer geek, half socio-political commentary. The former is way out of my universe, but the latter is tremendous. Rob puts to words every liberal's deepest, darkest thoughts.

Enjoy the links, I'll add more as I come up with them.

Oh, and another thing,
God has a blog, and it's tremendous.

Also, while strolling around the interweb, I caught this. How about instead of trying to bash it for being too explicit, we bash it for having the world's most obnoxious non-working celebrity as its subject? I'm pretty sure I'm supposed to find Paris attractive. I'm very sure I don't.

Revenge of the Sith review to appear above.

Episode I - The Phantom Review

OK, first real post, and I'm so jazzed about Star Wars, but if I start writing my review now, I'll have the world's stupidest reason for being on no sleep tomorrow. Instead, I'll paraphrase my thoughts into the following: WOW.

And then, mention a few reviews that I liked.
Ty Burr's Globe Review comes the closest to what I thought of the movie:
http://www.boston.com/movies/display?display=movie&id=6889

Ebert, of course, sets the gold standard:
http://rogerebert.suntimes.com/apps/pbcs.dll/article?AID=/20050515/REVIEWS/50503002

Kevin Smith managed to write an understandable version of the fanboy angle, with OH MY GOD some freakin' spoilers. Seriously, don't even click on this if you want to remain in the dark:
http://viewaskew.com/news/sith/

Peter Travers had a negative review for Rolling Stone, which I think misses out on some important things, but I'll post it here just for balance's sake:
http://www.rollingstone.com/reviews/movie/_/id/6140458?pageid=rs.Home&pageregion=double1

My apologies if these links don't work, I'll figure out how to make them hot text links soon. Just wanted to put something on here so I didn't feel like I was neglecting this thing (which I am.)

Wilkommen

It was time for me to scrap every one of my old blogs, because they just never worked. Provided I ever manage to get internet set up in my apartment, I'll be posting here fairly regularly. Until then, I'll do the best I can with whatever time I can grab in front of a computer. Hoping to make this somewhat similar to Swine Lair, which is either from whence you came (if Jim wants to link me), or where you may go from here (since I'll definitely link him). As for the title of this here thing, I wanted something that would convey both my political leanings as well as the source of some of my thoughts. So, voila, enjoy the blog once I get it up and running, and keep your ear to the grindstone.