Remember me?

Yeah, still here. I apparently post about as frequently as Jason Johnson checks third when Carl Crawford has reached the base (ba-dum). Anyway, hi there, welcome back, thanks for coming. I'm strongly considering writing this blog entry in the style of "Hitting to All Fields" by the Springfield Republican's illustrious and inestimable and infinitesimal Garry Brown.

The longest match in Wimbledon history isn't a great story or anything, just a little bit of trivia. But I chuckled at the first quote in the story. I'm pretty sure the same guy went after the chair ump, just totally undressed him, but that didn't get a mention. I'm now rooting for these guys to win the doubles title.

All of my teams are out of the World Cup, thanks to Italy's sudden awakening in the 354th minute. I guess I'm rooting for France now, since Thierry Henry is the best player on the planet whose name doesn't end in "inho." But I just can't bring myself to be real passionate about the Italian National Diving Team, or by the rather boring French. Maybe I should be rooting for Zidane to finish his career on top, but whaaaatever.

Watch out, here come those North Adams SteepleCats.

Seriously, Jason, not even a cursory glance? Not even a quick, I'm-really-checking-out-the-blonde-in-the-front-row peek over at one of the fastest men in the world who doesn't wear a skintight onesie? Crawford was already putting on his glove to go back in the field by the time you finished your slow, full leg kick. Growl.

Jose Canseco made his return to baseball. In the words of legendary broadcaster Harry Doyle, "I think I'll wet my pants."

Um, Celtics? Is that you? OK, who duct taped Danny Ainge and locked him in Red's broom closet?

Speaking of teams that play on Causeway Street and haven't had any direction since I was in diapers, I've never liked Zdeno Chara, but since it's easy to compare him to Hal Gill right now, WOW! we got ZDENO CHARA! YEE-HAW!

Marc Savard is still gonna be the biggest move of the offseason, you watch.

Add Pirates pitcher Tom Gorzelanny to the list of my all-time favorite sports names.

Has anyone caught these commercials for the ESPN Make-A-Wish deal? Where the kid who I think has had brain surgery (judging by the haircut) falls into a tearful embrace with whatever athlete he got to meet? Jesus, that totally derails me every time. If the show is even remotely like that, it's gonna be a must-see, and a "sitting alone with a box of tissues" kind of must-see at that.

(Get your minds out of the gutter, sickos.)

No, seriously, 19-1? NINETEEN TO ONE??? Does anyone have Brian Cashman's address? Guy could use a big case of Rolaids for the next few months.

So, I'm glad I didn't watch my recording of the Pops concert until a full day after July 4. Only one hour, not on ABC, and oh my god, ONE MINUTE OF 1812 OVERTURE, FOLLOWED BY DOCTOR FUCKING PHIL???????? WHAT IN THE NAME OF GOD IS WRONG WITH YOU PEOPLE!!!!!!

Some quick-hit movie reviews, since I honestly haven't been real impressed with anything I've seen lately.

Superman Returns (A-)
It was good. Great special effects, pretty decent storyline, and good performances from everyone (Spacey of course being a giant among Lilliputians here). But it was lacking something for me, and perhaps that's just my lack of interest in Superman. He's absolutely the least exciting super hero who doesn't have the word "Aqua" in his name. He's impervious to everything except a completely random substance that only Lex Luthor knows how to use, he's an utter bore both in and out of costume, and everyone around him is apparently fooled about his identity, thanks to a pompadour curl and eyewear? Come on. This one picked up where Superman 3 ended I believe, and since I don't exactly have that one on DVD, I didn't really understand what was going on for the first 20 minutes. But after that it became mostly enjoyable, and drew some comparisons to Batman Begins in its more raw, plausible treatment of its hero. Just not the best superhero movie of the last few years.

X-3: The Last Stand (B+)
This one had some fun elements, and a much darker storyline. I did enjoy Brett Ratner's complete disregard for human life, but I wonder if that's not too much of a departure from the mostly moral material of the first two movies. I had very little interest in this once Ratner signed on, after all of the tumult surrounding production and Ratner's rather limited resume (at least in terms of directing smart movies). But it was passable, a fairly good way to finish off a series that I thought lost some steam, perhaps due to its lack of a central character. Wolverine was obviously the main guy, but there's only so much you can do with a stoic, smarmy man who just heals really fast.

The Da Vinci Code (A-)
I tried really hard to go into this with low expectations, because a lot of the things I loved about the books were nearly impossible to translate to film. And it worked, because I really liked Howard's adaptation. I talked about the movie with one of my coworkers, and we agreed that it would be pretty tough to enjoy if you hadn't read the book, which is too bad. But there are a lot of moments that felt completely right to me that, had I not read the book, almost certainly would have seemed completely random and contrived. But it's worth a viewing, especially if you can catch it in theaters.

The Break-Up (A-)
I had absolutely no faith in this movie, and was proved quite wrong. I expected a goofy, wacky, slightly dark comedy that ended with Vaughn and Aniston getting back together like nothing had happened. But it's far more complicated than that, which is wonderful, since that's what most relationships (and break-ups) are. There aren't any easy answers, and there was one moment in particular that I loved, where Aniston brings a guy back to the apartment to see a piece of art he wants to buy from her, and Vaughn, who has laid out a candlelit dinner in an attempt to win her back, thinks it's a date. So he tells her to have the dinner with her date, and leaves with his dignity. But rather than stop him, and kiss him, and break down and tell him what's going on, she lets him talk, and walk out, shows the guy the art, and shows him out too. THAT'S how real life works.

No, seriously, DOCTOR PHUCKING PHIL???? We couldn't get ANYONE with any sort of New England ties? Really? We had to get Oprah's manservant and his wife, with her inability to read a teleprompter? Next time, just put it on PBS, and get Lockhart to do all the talking, so those of us who actually appreciate the Pops concert for what it is can enjoy it. Sheesh.

Where have you gone, A&E???